Friday, April 29, 2011

This is where I've been wrong.

Everything would feel numb right now. Any hope I had in redemption, or freedom, whittled away with the choices I made. So what now?

I've lost you in so many ways than one. Much deserved from the events of the this month.

I's better to have to stop it this way. To stop loving, and forget it all. To actually let it all go, like I said I stupidly wanted. I wanted to tell you, that I loved you. That somehow I wanted to run back to you. That for some stupid reason, I'm more in love with you for everything. That I lost everything.

But in all, this is the bed I will lie in. I'll close whatever I feel. I'll let you go. It's been the choice that was determined from the beginning.

Ha. The thought of it is numbing and hurtful.

But thats the way it is. I've been wrong to ever think otherwise. Or in any case, wrong to have acted the way I've been, treated you the way I've treated, felt what I have felt, fought when I should have, been worthier than shit.

Let all come in the way it should. Laugh it away, smile with the world because it laughs at you.

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